The Brothers, by Terence (Adelphi)
Adapted by Wayne S. Turney

CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY

MICIO, an old Athenian
CANTHARA, an old woman, servant of Sostrata
DEMEA, his brother, father of Aeschinus and Ctesipho
GETA, slave of Sostrata
HEGIO, an old man of Athens
AESCHINUS, son of Demea. adopted by Micio
PAMPHILA, daughter of Sostrata, slave of Micio and Aeschinus
DROMO, slave of Micio
CTESIPHO, son of Demea
MUSIC GIRL
SOSTRATA, an Athenian lady
PARMENO, a slave

SCENE: Early morning on a street in Athens in front of the houses of Micio and Sostrata.

DIDASCALIA:
The Brothers of Terence. Acted at the Funeral Games in honor of Lucius Aemilius Paulus which were given by Quintus Fabius Maximus and Publius Cornelius Africanus. The chief actors were Lucius Ambivius Turpio and Lucius Atilius Praenestinus. It was set to music by Flaceus, slave of Claudius, to the accompaniment of Tyrian flutes. It is from the Greek of Menander and is the poet's sixth play. It was presented during the consulship of Marcus Cornelius Cethegus and Lucius Anicius Gallus (160 B.C.) .

SUMMARY
Since Demea has two sons, he permits his brother Micio to adopt Aeschinus but he himself keeps Ctesipho. Demea was a harsh and strict father and when Ctesipho fell in love with a music girl his brother Aeschinus concealed it and took on himself the blame for the love affair; finally he took the music girl away from the pimp. Aeschinus had already seduced an impoverished Athenian girl and had promised to marry her. Demea upbraids him and is greatly vexed. Later, when the truth is revealed, Aeschinus marries the girl he has wronged and Ctesipho retains possession of the music girl.

PROLOGUE [Probably spoken by Ambivius Turpio]

When our poet perceived that his writings were likely to be attacked by malicious critics, and that his enemies did everything in their power to discredit the play we are about to act, he decided to give evidence regarding himself, and leave it to your judgment, whether what they reproach him with is worthy of praise or blame. The Synapothnescontes is a comedy written by Diphilus. Plautus has rendered it into Latin, and called it Commorientes. In the Greek of Diphilus there is a youth, who, in the beginning of the play takes a girl away from a pimp by force. Plautus has left this scenario untouched, and our poet has transferred it word for word into his Brothers, the new play that we are going to act for you today. Judge, therefore, whether this should be called a theft, or if it is not rather recovering what another's negligence has overlooked. As to what certain jealous men allege, namely, that some of our great men assist our poet, and are constantly writing with him; this charge, which they view as a mighty reproach, he views as his greatest merit: that he has it in his power to please those, with whom you, and all the people of Rome, are so well pleased; and whose services in war, in peace, and even in your private affairs, each one of you has used unreservedly, according to his need. Now, for the rest, do not expect to hear from me the gist of this play; the two old men, who come on first, will partially explain it, and the rest will gradually appear in the course of the play. I pray that you will encourage the poet to industry in writing, by giving him your honest and impartial attention.

ACT I. SCENE I.

[Enter Micio from his house ]

MICIO: [Calling within] Storax! [To himself, as there is no answer] Well, Aeschinus didn't come back from supper last night. And none of the servants who went to find him did either. It really is true what they say: if you are away somewhere, or happen to stay longer than usual, it's better that those things should happen to you that your wife says, or makes up in one of her suspicious moods, than what indulgent parents imagine is happening to their children. You know that if you are out late, your wife imagines that you have picked up a girl, or a girl has picked you up, or that you are at a bar, or enjoying yourself somewhere, and that you are making yourself quite happy, while she is worried and pining away at home. Well now, that's how it is for me because my son hasn't come back; I' so worried that he may have caught a cold, or had a fall, or broken an arm or a leg! Ye gods! That a man should obsess so much on anything, as to allow it to become dearer to him than he is to himself! And this boy isn't even my own son! He's my brother Demea's-my brother, but he has a very different temperament than mine. You see, ever since I was a boy, I have valued leisure, the quiet pleasures of an urban life and what men like me see as happiness: I have always lived a bachelor. As I said, my brother is quite the opposite. He has always loved living in the country; he's always been frugal and hard-working; he married, and had two sons. Well, I adopted his elder son and raised him; kept him with me, and loved him as if he were my own; and now, he is my whole delight-the only thing I hold dear. And I do everything I can so that I may be equally dear to him. I give; I overlook things; and I don't think it necessary to exercise my parental authority all the time. In short, I have trained my son not to conceal from me those little excesses natural to youth, that other boys are so careful to hide from their parents. For I firmly believe that he who is accustomed to lie to, or deceive his father, will be more likely to cheat others. And I think it is wiser to bind children to their duty by the ties of kindness and honor, than by the bonds of fear. My brother couldn't disagree more, nor is he at all pleased with my way of doing things. He is always complaining to me at the top of his lungs: "What are doing, Micio? Why do you spoil the boy? Why does he drink? And why do you give him the money for such extravagant living? You indulge him too much with fancy clothes; you are really silly to do soIf you want to know the truth, my brother Demea is much too severe as a parent, far beyond what is either just or reasonable. And, in my judgment, he is deceiving himself if he thinks that parental-or any-authority based on force will be more lasting, or carry greater weight, than one founded on friendship. I have figured out and firmly believe that one who does his duty out of motives of fear will behave himself no longer than he thinks there is danger of his being discovered, and if he can hope to escape being noticed, he will do just as he pleases; but one who has been won over by the example of kindness, will act from inclination, strive to make a repay that example, and, observed or not, will always be the same. This, indeed, is the proper role of a father: to accustom his son to do what is right, more from his own choice, than from any fear of another; and, indeed, this is the main difference between a father and a master. A man who can't do this should admit that he doesn't know how to bring up children. [Sees Demea enter.] But isn't this the very man of whom I was speaking? The very same; and he seems perturbed; I can't imagine why. I'll lay you odds, we shall have a quarrel, as usual. Demea, I am glad to see you looking so well.

SCENE II.

[Enter Demea from the country ]

DEMEA: Hm! Just in time. Micio, you're the very man I was looking for.

MICIO: Why Demea, what makes you look so perturbed?

DEMEA: How can you ask me that? Do you know where our son Aeschinus is? [Micio shrugs] Now do you know why I am perturbed?

MICIO: [Aside] Didn't I tell you we'd quarrel? [To Demea] What has he done now?

DEMEA: What has he done? He is ashamed of nothing and afraid of nobody and thinks no law applies to him. I won't go into his former escapades; but what an outrage he has perpetrated just now!

MICIO: Why, what has he done?

DEMEA: He broke down the street-door and entered a strange house, beat the master of the house and all his people nearly to death, and carried away some woman he's in love with. Everybody's saying that it is a most shameful thing. As I was coming here, you don't know how many people told me this story; it's all over Athens. If the boy needs an example, why doesn't he look to his brother working away in the country frugally and soberly? He never does anything like this. And, Micio, what I say to him, I say to you, for you are letting him go bad.

MICIO: Nothing is as unfair as an ignorant man, who thinks that nothing can be right except what he does himself.

DEMEA: What do you mean by that?

MICIO: I mean, Demea, that you're looking at this all wrong. Believe me, it is not a monstrous crime for a young man to indulge in wine and women. [Demea stares at him agog.] It isn't. Really. Or even to break down street-doors. If you and I didn't do such things, it was only because poverty did not permit us to do them; why, you are taking credit for not having done what you couldn't afford to do. This is quite wrong, for if we had had the means, we would have done these things; and if you were sensible, you would let that son of yours do things now, while he is of an age for such foolishness, rather than have him do them when he ought to be too old for them, after he has had the pleasure of putting you underground.

DEMEA: By Jupiter, you make me wild! You don't think it's monstrous for a young man to behave like that!?

MICIO: Now brother, calm down. You gave me your son to be mine by adoption; he has become my son. And if he does wrong, that is my affair; I shall have to pay for it. Suppose that he makes love, drinks wine, perfumes himself: I shall pay for it. Suppose he keeps a mistress: well, as long as I find it convenient, I shall let him have money for her; if and when I don't find it convenient, he may well find her door shut against him. That's all there is to it! Now, if he has broken down a street-door, it will have to be mended; if he has torn any clothes, they must be mended; and, thanks be to the gods, I can afford to have these things done, and thus far they do not weigh heavily upon me. The long and the short of it is, either stop interfering, or choose someone to arbitrate between us. I shall prove that you are more to blame than I am.

DEMEA: Good grief, brother! Learn to be a father from someone who really knows what it is!

MICIO: You are his father according to nature; but in care of him, I am.

DEMEA: As if you cared at all for him!

MICIO: If you go on talking like that, I shall leave.

DEMEA: That you should act like this!

MICIO: How many times do I have to hear the same thing?

DEMEA: It is a matter of some considerable interest to me.

MICIO: And so it is to me; but let's each mind our own business: you look after one brother, Demea, and I will look after the other, for if you look after both of them, it's the same as asking that I give you back the son you gave to me.

DEMEA: Oh, Micio!

MICIO: That's how I see it.

DEMEA: Well, well, if that's what you want, let him squander, and waste, and go to the devil; it doesn't matter to me. And if I ever hear another word...

MICIO. Now, Demea, are you getting worked up again?

DEMEA: Don't you believe me? Do I ask you to give me back the son I gave you? I don't mind saying it is hard; It's not as if I were a stranger to him; it wouldn't be surprising if I were to interfere-well, I'll stop interfering. You wish me to look after one of my sons; very well, I am looking after him, and I am thankful to heaven that he is the kind of son I should wish for. But that one of yours will find out some day how wrong he has been. I do not want to say anything worse about him.[Demea departs]

MICIO: [To himself] What he says isn't all true, but there is some truth in it, and I am a little perturbed, though I wouldn't show him; for he is the sort of man that, to try to appease him, you have to be very careful just how you oppose or cross him, and even then he does not take it kindly; and if I were to try to make him angrier, why I would be as mad as he is. Yet, all the same, Aeschinus hasn't treated me quite properly by doing this. What courtesan is there in all Athens whom he hasn't been in love with, or to whom he hasn't made a present? Just the other day-I believed he was sick of all of them -he said that he'd like to marry! I hoped that he'd sown his wild oats, and, I admit, I was glad of it; now it looks as though he's started up again. But whatever he's done, I want to know about it and, if he's in the market place, I'll have a talk with him. [Micio departs towards the forum. A short time is supposed to elapse before the next Act]

ACT II. Scene i.

[Enter Aeschinus with a Music girl; Parmeno and other Slaves attend him. Sannio follows]

SANNIO: [To the audience] Countrymen! My countrymen, I beseech you. help an injured and an innocent man. Help one who is helpless.

AESCHINUS: [To the Girl] Take it easy, stay right here. Why are you looking over your shoulder like that? There's no danger he will ever lay a finger on you while I'm here.

SANNIO: [Still to the audience, which has not come to his aid.] I'll get her back, in spite of all of you.

AESCHINUS: [To the Girl] Scoundrel that he is, he won't risk getting another thrashing today.

SANNIO: Aeschinus, listen to me, so you can never say you didn't know my ways. I am a slave-dealer.

AESCHINUS: I know that.

SANNIO: But I'm the most honorable in my business there ever was. Now I don't care a straw for what you will plead in your defense-that you are sorry for having committed this outrage on me. Mark me, I'll stand up for my lawful rights, and it won't be just lip service that you'll pay for the harm you have done me by you actions. I know all your excuses-"Sorry it happened; I'll make you an affidavit that you didn't deserve such ill-treatment." That's all you'll give me after the way I have been so shamefully mistreated!

AESCHINUS: [To the Slaves] Quickly! Go on ahead and open the door.

SANNIO: Didn't you hear what I said?

AESCHINUS: [To the Girl] Get into the house right now.

SANNIO: I won't let her go into the house!

AESCHINUS: Close up on that side, Parmeno; you are too far away; stand here close to him; there, that's where I want you to be. Now, be sure never to take your eyes off mine, so when I give you the wink, you won't lose any time connecting your fist down to his jaw.

SANNIO: I'd like him to see him try. [Lays hold of the Girl]

AESCHINUS: Here, watch yourself! Let the girl go. [Parmeno hits Sannio in the face]

SANNIO: Oh, how dare you!

AESCHINUS: [To Sannio] He'll do it again, if you don't watch it. [Parmeno hits Sannio again]

SANNIO: Hey!

AESCHINUS: I didn't wink for you to do it again; but then, it's a fault on the right side. Now be off!
[Parmeno takes the Girl into Micio's house]

SANNIO: What's the meaning of all this? Are you king around here, Aeschinus?

AESCHINUS: If I were, you would get your just desserts.

SANNIO: What have you got to do with me?

AESCHINUS: Nothing.

SANNIO: What? Do you know who I am?

AESCHINUS: I don't want to know.

SANNIO: Have I meddled with any of your property?

AESCHINUS: It would have been the worse for you if you had.

SANNIO: Then why should you have my slave that I bought and paid for? Answer me that.

AESCHINUS: You'd better not abuse me in front of my own house; for if you go on making yourself a
nuisance, I'll have you taken inside and flogged within an inch of your life.

SANNIO: Flog me! I'm a free man!

AESCHINUS: That's what will happen.

SANNIO: O you villain; and this is the place where they say all men are free alike!AESCHINUS: Now then, master slave-dealer, if you have quite finished with your storming, kindly listen to me.

SANNIO: Storming!? Have I been storming against you, or have you been storming against me?

AESCHINUS: Never mind that, get to the point.

SANNIO: [Still belligerent] What point? Where am I to get to?

AESCHINUS: When you're ready, I'll tell you about your concern in this matter.

SANNIO: I am more than willing to listen, provided you do me right!

AESCHINUS: Ho! Ho! Such righteous talk from a slave-dealer!

SANNIO: Yes! I'm a slave-dealer, I confess it-the ruin of all young men; I am a liar and a scoundrel; but I have never did you any harm. XXX

AESCHINUS: No, that's the one thing that's left for you to do.

SANNIO: Pray, Aeschinus, return to what you began about.

AESCHINUS: You bought this girl for twenty minae; you shall be paid the same sum, and much good may it do you.

SANNIO: What if I refuse to sell her to you? Will you make me?

AESCHINUS: Not at all.

SANNIO: I was afraid that you would.

AESCHINUS: I don't believe that she is saleable, for I claim her as a free woman as the law directs in such cases. Now make your choice, whether you will take the money or think what defense you can make. I leave you to your reflections here, master slave-dealer, until I return. [Aeschinus goes into the house ]

SANNIO: [To himself] Almighty Jove! I don't wonder at men being driven mad by outrage. He has dragged me out of my house, beaten me, and carried off my slave-girl against my will; he has bestowed more than five hundred blows upon me; and now, as the reward of his crimes, he expects to get her for no more than I gave for her. [Ironically ] Well, since he has treated me so well, so be it; he has a right, no doubt. Why, I'm quite willing, provided he pays me the money for her. But I'm talking nonsense. When I say that I gave so much for her, he will straightway have witnesses ready to prove that I have sold her to him, and the money will be all moonshine. He'll say, "Call again tomorrow." Well, I could put up with that, too, if only he would pay, in spite of the injustice of it. But I know how things are: if you ply my trade, you must submit to outrages from young gentlemen and hold your tongue. I shall never be paid; it's no use for me to make these calculations.

SCENE II.

[Enter Syrus from Micio's house]

SYRUS: [To his master within] Say no more; I'll see the man myself; I'll make him glad to take the money, and declare that he has been well treated. [To Sannio] What's this I hear, Sannio, about your having been fighting with my master?

SANNIO: I never saw a more one-sided fight than that between him and me today, for I got beaten, and he beat me till we were both tired out.

SYRUS: Well, it was all your fault.

SANNIO: What ought I to have done?

SYRUS: You ought to have made allowances for the young gentleman.

SANNIO: What more could I have done; haven't I allowed him to hit me in the face?

SYRUS: Come, you understand what I mean. Sometimes the most profitable thing we can do is not to be over keen after one's money.

SANNIO: The deuce it is!

SYRUS: Y OU great goose, if you don't insist upon your rights just now, and let the young gentleman have his way, you surely cannot fear that you will not profit by so doing in the long run?

SANNIO: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

SYRUS: You will never make a fortune; get along with you, Sannio, you don't understand how to entice men on.

SANNIO: I believe that is the best way, but I never was so cunning as not to prefer to get what I could in ready money.

SYRUS: Come, I know what you're thinking of; as if twenty minae made any difference to you, in comparison with doing my master a favor. Besides, they say you are on the point of setting sail for Cyprus.

SANNIO: [Aside] The devil!

SYRUS: That you have bought up a large cargo for that place, and hired a ship. Come, I know you're in two minds about it; when you return, I hope, you can still settle this affair.

SANNIO: I'm not going to stir from this place. [Aside] Confound it! This was what they were relying upon when they began.

SYRUS: [Aside] He's afraid. I've put a spoke in his wheel.

SANNIO: [Aside] What villainy! See how he has caught me just in the very nick of time. I've bought lots of slave-girls, and other merchandise besides, which I am going to take to Cyprus. Unless I get them there in time for the fair, it will be a dead loss. But if I drop this business now, and begin it again when I return from Cyprus, all's lost; the whole thing will have blown over. They will say, "Why didn't you come into court before? Why did you let him do it? Where were you?' So it is better to lose the money than either to wait here so long or to try to get It when I come back.

SYRUS: Well, have you finished reckoning up what you expect to make by your voyage?

SANNIO: Is this the way that Aeschinus ought to behave? To think that he should try to do such a thing;
to expect to take this girl from me by main force.

SYRUS: [Aside] He is giving way. [Aloud] Now, Sannio, I've only one proposal to make; see whether it suits you. Rather than risk winning or losing it all, split the difference. He'll scrape up ten minae somehow.

SANNIO: Confound it, am I now to lose the principal as well as the interest? Has he no shame? He has loosened all my teeth; besides, my head is all bumps with his knocks; and is he going to cheat me as well? I won't leave this place.

SYRUS: Please yourself. Anything else before I go?

SANNIO: Yes, damn it! I beg you, Syrus, no matter what has been done, rather than go to law about it, let me have the bare price that I gave for the girl, anyway, my good Syrus. I know that you have not as yet profited by my friendship, but hereafter you will find me mindful of your kindness, and grateful.

SYRUS: I'll do my best. But I see Ctesipho there; he's pleased at getting his mistress.

SANNIO: What are you going to do about my request?

SYRUS: Wait a bit.

SCENE III.

[Enter Ctesipho, overjoyed]

CTESIPHO: [To himself] One is always pleased to be done a good turn in time of need, by anybody; much more pleasant is it when one whose duty it is does one good. My dear brother, what need is there for me to praise you now? I am quite sure that, however grandly I spoke of you, it would fall short of your real merit. I think that I have this great advantage over everybody else, that no one has so noble a gentleman for a brother.

SYRUS: Good day, Ctesipho.

CTESIPHO: Oh, Syrus, where is Aeschinus?

SYRUS: [Pointing to the house] There he is; he's waiting for you in the house.

CTESIPHO: Aha!

SYRUS: What is the matter?

CTESIPHO: The matter?. Why, Syrus, I owe him my life for what he has done, the delightful fellow, who has thought nothing of his own disgrace compared with my interests. He has taken upon his own shoulders all the scandal, reproach, intrigue, and blame that belongs to me. He could do nothing more. What's that noise at the door?

SYRUS: Wait; he himself is coming out.

SCENE IV.

[Enter Aeschinus from Micio's house ]

AESCHINUS: Where's that scoundrel?

SANNIO: [Aside] He is seeking me; is he bringing any money out with him? Confusion! I don't see any.

AESCHINUS: Oh, well met, Ctesipho; the very man I was looking for! How goes it? All is safely finished, so lay aside your gloom.

CTESIPHO: I do indeed lay it aside, because I have you for my brother. Oh, Aeschinus, my own brother, I am ashamed to praise you more to your face, for fear you should think I do it to flatter rather than because I am grateful to you.

AESCHINUS: Go on, goose; as if we didn't understand each other, Ctesipho. What I am sorry for is that we very nearly learned it too late, and that matters very nearly went so far that all the people in the world could not have helped you, if they had wanted.

CTESIPHO: I was ashamed to tell you.

AESCHINUS: That is folly, not shame. That you should have been on the point of leaving your native land all because of a trifle of money like that! Disgraceful! May heaven save us from such a fate!

CTESIPHO: I was wrong.

AESCHINUS: [To Syrus] And, pray, what terms does Sannio propose to us now?

SYRUS: He is quite reasonable now.

AESCHINUS: I'll go to the market place and pay him. Ctesipho, you go into the house to the girl.

SANNIO: Syrus, help me.

SYRUS: [To Aeschinus] Let us be going, for this man is in a hurry to go to Cyprus.

SANNIO: Yes; but not so much of a hurry as you wish. I have plenty of time to wait here.

SYRUS: You shall be paid, never fear.

SANNIO: But see that he pays me in full.

SYRUS: He will pay you in full; only hold your tongue and follow me this way.

SANNIO: I am following you. [Aeschinus and Sannio depart. Syrus is detained by Ctesipho ]

CTESIPHO: I say, Syrus.

SYRUS: What is it?

CTESIPHO: I entreat you, close your account with that loathsome villain as soon as may be, for fear that if he be made angrier than he is, my father may somehow get wind of this and I be ruined for ever.

SYRUS: You won't be, be of good cheer; go into the house and take your pleasure with her in the meantime, and tell them to lay the table for us and get things ready for dinner; as soon as I have transacted the business I will come home again with something to cook.

CTESIPHO: Do so, I pray you; after our success we will have a jolly day. [Ctesipho goes into Micio's house; Syrus hurries after Aeschinus]

ACT III. SCENE I.

[Enter Sostrata from her house, followed by Canthara]

SOSTRATA: Pray, my dear nurse, what will happen now?

CANTHARA: What will happen, do You ask? All will go right, I hope.

SOSTRATA: My dear, her pains are just beginning to come upon her.

CANTHARA: You are as much afraid as if you had never seen a child born, never borne a child yourself.

SOSTRATA: Wretched woman that I am, I have no one, we are all alone, and Geta is not here. No one to send to the midwife, or to fetch Aeschinus.

CANTHARA: Heavens, he will be here soon, for he never misses a day without calling.

SOSTRATA: He is my only protection against my miseries.

CANTHARA: Mistress, after what has happened, things could not have turned out better than they have; since the girl has been violated, it is well that her seducer is such a fine young man, such a fine character and spirit, and belonging to so noble a family.

SOSTRATA: What you say is true; may the gods preserve him for us.

SCENE II.

[Enter Geta, hurrying in great excitement]

GETA: [To himself] Now this is a matter in which, if all mankind gave all the advice they could, and tried to find a remedy for this misfortune which has befallen me and my mistress and the daughter, they could give us no help. Oh, dear me! So many things suddenly threaten us on every side, from which there is no escape: violence, poverty, injustice, loneliness, disgrace. What a time we live in! What crimes are committed! What a vile race it is! What a wicked man he is!

SOSTRATA: [Aside to Canthara] Oh, dear me, why do I see Geta frightened and hurrying like this?

GETA: Neither honor, nor his plighted word, nor pity could hold him back or turn him from his purpose, nor yet the thought that the girl whom he had outraged was about to become a mother.

SOSTRATA: [Aside to Canthara] I don't quite understand what he's saying.

CANTHARA: Pray, Sostrata, let us go nearer to him. [They approach]

GETA: Oh, dear. ! I am so hot with anger that I am scarcely in my right mind. I should like nothing better than to meet the whole of that household, that I might vent my rage upon them now, while the pain is fresh. I should not care how much I was punished if only I could take a thorough revenge upon them. First of all, I would choke the life out of the old man who begat the monster; then Syrus, the instigator of his wickedness! Oh, how I would mangle him! First, I would take him by the middle, hoist him up aloft, and bring his head down on to the ground, so that his brains bespattered the road. As for the young man himself, I would first tear his eyes out, and then fling him down a cliff headfirst. The rest I would fall upon, beat them, dash them down, smash them, overthrow them. But why don't I tell my mistress this bad news straightway?

SOSTRATA: [To Canthara] Let us call him back. Geta!

GETA: Now, whoever you are, let me go my way.

SOSTRATA: It is I, Sostrata.

GETA: [Turning round] Where is she? It is you yourself that I am seeking, my mistress, it is you that I want; indeed, it's fortunate that you have fallen in with me.

SOSTRATA: What is it? Why are you in a flutter?

GETA: Oh, dear!

CANTHARA: Why are you in such a hurry, my good Geta? Wait and get your breath.

GETA: We are utterly

SOSTRATA: What does that "utterly" mean?

GETA: Ruined. All's over with us.

SOSTRATA: Tell me, I beseech you, what is the matter?

GETA: By this time

SOSTRATA: What is "by this time," Geta?

GETA: Aeschinus

SOSTRATA: Well, what of him?

GETA: Is a stranger to our family.

SOSTRATA: What? Good gracious! Why so?

GETA: He has begun an amour with another woman.

SOSTRATA: Oh, miserable woman that I am!

GETA: And he makes no secret of it, but has carried her off from the slave-dealer in the sight of all men.

SOSTRATA: Is this proved to be true?

GETA: True! I saw it, Sostrata, with these very eyes.

SOSTRATA: Oh, poor wretch that I am! What is one now to believe, or whom should one believe? That our Aeschinus should have done this! He that was our very life, our only hope and help; he who used to swear that without her he could not live for one day; who used to say that he would set her child in his fathers lap, and entreat him to let him marry her.

GETA: Mistress, dry your tears, and consider what we ought to do in this case. Are we to put up with his conduct, or shall we tell some one about it?

CANTHARA : Good gracious, man, are you in your right mind? Do you think that ours is a tale for anyone to hear?

GETA: I myself am against telling it. In the first place, what he has done shows that he doesn't care for us, and now, if we publish our story, I am quite sure he will contradict it, and then you will risk your good name and your daughter's prospects in life. Secondly, even if he admits the truth of our story, there's no point to letting him marry your daughter, since he loves another woman. So, in either case, you must hold your tongue.

SOSTRATA: Ah, but I won't; not a bit.

GETA: What will you do?

SOSTRATA: Publish the whole story.

CANTHARA: But, my dear Sostrata, just think what you are doing.

SOSTRATA: Matters can't be worse for us than they are; first of all she has no dowry, and then, too, her honor, her second dowry, is lost. I can't give her to anyone as a maid. If he disowns her, all that I ] shall have left to prove my story is the ring that he 1 lost, which I have. Finally, as I am aware in my own ] mind that there has been nothing to blame in my conduct, Geta, that she has not received any money or anything else as compensation, and that neither of us has acted dishonorably, I'11 try what the law will do for us.

GETA: Well, well, I agree; your suggestion is better.

SOSTRATA: Run as fast as you can and tell the whole story from the very beginning to Hegio, who was my Simulus' greatest friend, and was very fond of us.

GETA: Indeed, no one besides him takes any notice of us now. [Geta departs]

SOSTRATA: My good Canthara, do you haste to bring a midwife, so that she may be at hand when we want her. [Canthara departs; Sostrata goes into her house]

SCENE III.

[Enter Demea, much troubled]

DEMEA: [To himself] Confusion! I have heard that my son Ctesipho took part with Aeschinus in this abduction. It would, indeed, be the last straw for me, if he is able to seduce the son who really is good for something, into mischief. Where am I to look for him? I suppose he has been carried off into some low dive; that profligate has led him away, I'm sure. Why, there I see Syrus going along. I will soon make out from him where he is. And yet Syrus is one of that gang; if he sees that I am looking for Ctesipho, the scoundrel will never tell me where he is. I won't let him see that I want to know. [Enter Syrus with a basket of provisions]

SYRUS: [To himself] We told the old gentleman the whole story just as it happened from the outset.
I never saw anyone better pleased.

DEMEA [Aside] Great Jupiter, that the man should be such a fool!

SYRUS: He highly commended his son, and thanked me for having suggested the plan to him.

DEMEA [Aside] I'm fit to burst with anger.

SYRUS: He counted out the money then and there, and gave us half a mina besides for our expenses.
That has been laid out according to my ideas.

DEMEA [Aside] Oh, yes, this is the man to entrust your business to, if you want it looked after properly!

SYRUS: [Advancing] Why, Demea, I didn't see you; how goes it?

DEMEA: How goes it! I am astounded at your proceedings.

SYRUS: Silly enough they are: to speak plainly, ridiculous. [He goes to the door and hands his basket to the cooks within] Dromo, clean the fish all but that big eel; let him play in the water a little while; he shall be boned when I come back, but I don't want him killed till then.

DEMEA: Such atrocities as these!

SYRUS: Indeed, I don't approve of them myself, and I often cry out. [To the cooks within] Stephanio, mind you soak that salt fish thoroughly.

DEMEA: Good heavens! Is it his object to ruin his son, or does he think that it would be to his credit?
Oh, dear me, I already seem to see the day when he will run away somewhere and enlist.

SYRUS: Indeed, Demea, this is true wisdom, not to see only what stares you in the face, but also what is to come.

DEMEA: Now then, is that music girl in your house now?

SYRUS: Yes, she's within.

DEMEA: Pray, is he going to keep her in his own house?

SYRUS: I believe he is; he's crazy enough to do it.

DEMEA: That such things should be done!

SYRUS: All the fault lies with his fathers silly good nature and criminal weakness.

DEMEA: I am ashamed of my brother and grieve for him.

SYRUS: Demea, I say this before your face as I would say it behind your back; there is too much, far too much difference between you and your brother. What a man you are, every inch a sage! He's a stupid fool! Would you have let your son do this?

DEMEA: Would I have let him? Wouldn't I have smelt a rat six months before he set about doing anything!

SYRUS: You need not tell me how sharp-sighted you are.

DEMEA: I hope I shall always be as sharp as I am now.

SYRUS: Each son is as his father would have him be.

DEMEA: What of mine? Have you seen him today?

SYRUS: Your son? [Aside] I'll send this old man off to the country. [Aloud] I think he's been working on your farm in the country for some time now.

DEMEA: Are you quite sure that he is there?

SYRUS: Why, I myself saw him off.

DEMEA: Capital! I was afraid he might be hanging about here.

SYRUS: And a fine rage he was in.

DEMEA: What about?

SYRUS: He quarreled with his brother in the market place about this music girl.

DEMEA: Indeed?

SYRUS: Yes, he didn't mince matters; he came upon us all of a sudden when the money was being, paid, and began to cry out, "Oh, Aeschinus, that you should behave so scandalously! That you should disgrace our family by such escapades!"

DEMEA: Oh, I weep with joy.

SYRUS: "It is not only this money," said he, "but your life that you are throwing away."

DEMEA: Long may he live; he, I hope, is a chip off the old block.

SYRUS: Quite.

DEMEA: Syrus, he's full of those wise saws.

SYRUS: Right. He had some one at home to learn them from.

DEMEA: I took care of that: I never lose an opportunity of instruction; I accustom him to virtue; in fact, I bid him look into all men's lives as into a mirror, and make others serve as examples to himself.
I say to him, "Practice this."

SYRUS: Excellent!

DEMEA: " A void that."

SYRUS: A wise education!

DEMEA: I say, "Men praise this."

SYRUS: That's the way to teach.

DEMEA: "They disapprove of that."

SYRUS: You couldn't do better.

DEMEA: And moreover

SYRUS: [Interrupting] Indeed, I have no leisure now to listen to you any longer, Demea. I have got some fish after my own heart; I must take care that they're not spoiled; for with us, Demea, this is as great a crime as it is with you, not to Practice those noble precepts which you have just told us of, and I do my best to give my fellow-servants instruction after the same fashion, saying, "This is too salt". "this is over-cooked". "this is not properly cleaned". "this is as it should be". "bear this in mind another time." In fact, I bid them look into the dishes, Demea, as into a mirror, and tell them what they ought to do. I am aware that you think these pursuits of ours silly; but what are you to do? You must deal with a man according to his character. Have you anything further for me?

DEMEA: Only to pray that heaven may give you all better sense.

SYRUS: Are you going to the country?

DEMEA: Straightway.

SYRUS: Yes, indeed, what should you do here, where, if you did give good advice, no one would follow it. [Syrus goes into the house ]

DEMEA: [To himself] Now I'm off to the country, because the boy I came here about has himself gone there: he is my only care; he belongs to me. As my brother wishes to have it so, he may look after the other one himself. [Looking down the street] But who is that I see in the distance? Is it not my fellow tribesman, Hegio? If my eyes don't deceive me, it is he, indeed. Now there's a man who has been my friend from his youth up. Good heavens! We are not rich in citizens of his sort; he is of the good and honorable old school. It will be long ere the state suffers any injury from him. How pleased I am; I find life worth living even at the present day, when I see some remnants of that race still surviving. I'll wait for him here, that I may greet him and taIk with him.

SCENE IV.

[Enter Hegio and Geta conversing]

HEGIO: By the immortal gods, this is a disgraceful action! What is it that you tell me?

GETA: The truth.

HEGIO: That such an ungentlemanly act should come from one of that family! By Jove, Aeschinus, you have shown little of your father's character in this!

DEMEA: [Aside] Of course, he must have heard about this music girl; the thing grieves him, though he is a stranger; but his father thinks nothing of it. Oh dear! I wish he were somewhere close by here, and could hear this.

HEGIO: Unless they behave properly, they shall not get away with it.

GETA: Hegio, our only hope is in you; we have no one beside you; you are our patron, our father. The old man, on his deathbed, entrusted us to your care. If you forsake us, we're lost.

HEGIO: Don't speak of such a thing. I won't desert you, nor could I, without disloyalty to my friend.

DEMEA: [Aside] I'll accost him. [Aloud] Hegio, my very best respects.

HEGIO: Well, you're the very man I was seeking; good day, Demea.

DEMEA: What is the matter?

HEGIO: That elder son of yours, Aeschinus, whom your brother adopted, has not behaved like a good man or like a gentleman.

DEMEA: What has he done?

HEGIO: You know my friend Simulus; he was about our own age?

DEMEA: Of course I knew him.

HEGIO: He has seduced his daughter.

DEMEA: Gracious heavens!

HEGIO: Wait, Demea, you haven't yet heard the worst part of it.

DEMEA: Why, is there anything worse?

HEGIO: Worse, indeed; for this might have been excused somehow; he was excited by the darkness, by passion, by wine, by youth; it is human nature. Now when he learned what he had done, he went of his own accord to the maiden's mother; he wept, prayed, and implored her, giving his word of honor and swearing that he would make her his wife. He was pardoned, the affair was hushed up, his word was believed. The girl became pregnant through his violence; this is the tenth month. Now, if you please, my young gentleman has carried off this music girl to live with him, and has deserted the other.

DEMEA: Are you sure of the truth of what you say?

HEGIO: There is the girl's mother, the girl herself, the thing itself; besides, here is Geta, not a bad slave as slaves go, and a hard-working one; he supports them, he alone maintains the whole household. Take him, put him in chains, and inquire into the matter.

GETA: Nay, put me to the torture if that isn't the truth, Demea. Moreover, he won't deny it; bring him into my presence.

DEMEA: [Aside] I am ashamed. I don't know what to do, or what answer to give to him.

PAMPHILA: [Within Sostrata's house] Oh, dear me! I am in agonies. Juno, thou that bringest babes to light, save me, I beseech thee!

HEGIO: What's that? Can she be in labor?

GETA: She is indeed, Hegio.

HEGIO: Well, Demea, she now appeals to you to do of your own free will what the law can make you do. I hope that you will behave as becomes you in this matter; but, Demea, if you do not choose to do so, I will fight as hard as I can to protect her, and him who is gone. He was my kinsman; we were always together, both at home and in the wars; we c endured bitter poverty together, and therefore I will struggle, and strive, and go to law, and lay down my very life sooner than desert his family.

DEMEA: I will talk to my brother, Hegio.

HEGIO: But, Demea, mind that you consider this point. You and your brother are powerful, rich, prosperous, and noble; but in proportion as life is easy to you, all the more ought you to judge things rightly and act righteously, if you wish to be esteemed honorable men. [He turns towards Sostrata's door]

DEMEA: Come back, come back; whatever is right shall be done.

HEGIO: That's what you ought to do. Geta, take me into the house to Sostrata. [Hegio and Geta go inside]

DEMEA: [To himself] These things have not come to pass for want of my warnings. Please heaven, this may be the end of it all! But this excessive indulgence will certainly lead to some terrible mischief in the end. I will go and look for my brother, and pour all this into his ears. [Demea departs towards the forum]

SCENE V

[Re-enter Hegio ]

HEGIO: [To Sostrata within] Be of good cheer, Sostrata, and console the girl as well as you can. I will see Micio, if he's in the market place, and tell him the whole story, from beginning to end; then, if he is inclined to do his duty, he may do it.; but if not, he shall give me his answer, and then I'll know without delay what steps I am to take. [Hegio departs towards the forum]

ACT IV. SCENE I.

[Enter Ctesipho and Syrus from Micio's house ]

CTESIPHO: Did you say that my father went off to the country?

SYRUS: Long ago.

CTESIPHO: Pray tell me about it.

SYRUS: He is at his farm, and just about now, I fancy, he's engaged on some piece of work.

CTESIPHO: I trust so. I hope that, without doing himself any serious harm, he may so tire himself out that he won't be able to get out of bed for the whole of these next three days.

SYRUS: So be it; and better than that, if possible.

CTESIPHO: Yes; for I am desperately eager to pass all this day as I have begun it, in enjoyment; and the reason why I dislike this farm so much is that it is so near Athens. Now, if it had been further off, night would have overtaken him before he could have returned here. As it is, when he doesn't see me there, he will run back here, I am quite sure; he'll ask me where I have been; he'll say, "I haven't seen you the whole of this day." What answer am I to make?

SYRUS: Doesn't anything come into your head?

CTESIPHO: Nothing whatever.

SYRUS: So much the worse for you. Have you no dependent, no friend, no guest from abroad?

CTESIPHO: Yes, I have; what then?

SYRUS: Can't you say that you were attending to them?

CTESIPHO: When I wasn't attending to them? No, that won't do.

SYRUS: Yes, it will.

CTESIPHO: In the daytime, I grant you; but, Syrus, if I pass the night here, what reason can I give?

SYRUS: Dear me! How I wish it was the fashion to attend to one's friends by night as well as by day! But don't you trouble yourself, I know his ways perfectly; when he is at his angriest I can make him as quiet as a lamb.

CTESIPHO: How do you manage it?

SYRUS: He likes to hear your praises; I make a regular god of you in his mind. I tell him about your virtues.

CTESIPHO: My virtues?

SYRUS: Yes, yours; and straightway the tears roll down his cheeks for joy, as if he was a child. But look out!

CTESIPHO: What is it?

SYRUS: Talk of the devil!

CTESIPHO: Is it my father?

SYRUS: His very self.

CTESIPHO: O Syrus! What are we to do?

SYRUS: Run indoors directly, and I will see after him.

CTESIPHO: If he asks you, mind, you haven't seen me anywhere; do you hear?

SYRUS: Can't you hold your tongue? [Ctesipho goes inside]

SCENE II.

[Enter Demea]

DEMEA: [To himself] Indeed I am an unlucky man; first of all I can't find my brother anywhere in the world, and besides that, while I was looking for my son, I saw a laborer from my farm who says that my son is not in the country. I don't know what to do.

CTESIPHO: [Aside to Syrus from the house] Syrus!

SYRUS: [Aside to Ctesipho] What's the matter?

CTESIPHO: [Aside to Syrus] Is he after me?

SYRUS: [Aside to Ctesipho] Yes.

CTESIPHO: [Aside to Syrus] I am lost!

SYRUS: [Aside to Ctesipho] No, keep your heart up.

DEMEA: What a mass of disaster this is! I can't get a right understanding of it, except on the supposition that I was born for nothing else but to endure miseries. I am the first to become aware of the misfortunes of the family. I learn the truth of them first; then, too, I am the first to bring the bad news to Micio; and I suffer alone for all that is done.

SYRUS: [Aside] He makes me laugh saying that he was the first to know, when he's the only man who knows nothing about it.

DEMEA: Now I've come back, I'll see whether my brother has come home.

CTESIPHO: [Aside to Syrus from the house] Syrus, pray take care he does not blunder straight in here.

SYRUS: [Aside to Ctesipho] Can't you be quiet. I'll take care.

CTESIPHO: [Aside to Syrus] I won't ever trust you to do that today! I'll lock myself in some room with the girl, that'll be the safest thing to do.

SYRUS: [Aside to Ctesipho] Come, I'll send him away.

DEMEA: Why, there's that scoundrel Syrus.

SYRUS: [Pretending not to see Demea] No, by heaven! If this sort of thing goes on, nobody can stay in this house. I should like to know how many masters I have; what misery this is!

DEMEA: What's he babbling about? What does he want? What are you saying, my good man? Is my brother at home?

SYRUS: What the devil do you mean by your "good man"? I am done for!

DEMEA: What's the matter with you?

SYRUS: The matter! Why, Ctesipho has thrashed me and that music girl almost to death.

DEMEA: Eh! What's that you tell me?

SYRUS: Why, see how he has split open my lip.

DEMEA: What did he do it for?

SYRUS: He says that it was by my advice that she was bought.

DEMEA: Didn't You say just now that you had seen him off to the country?

SYRUS: So I did, but after that he came back raving mad, and had no pity. He should have been ashamed to beat an old man like me; why, I carried him in my arms when he was only so big.

DEMEA: Well done, Ctesipho, you take after your father. Come, I count you a man.

SYRUS: What, do you praise him for it? Nay, if he is wise, he'll keep his fists to himself for the future.
DEMEA: He did bravely.

SYRUS: Oh, very bravely, to beat a wretched girl, and me, a slave, who dared not hit him back. Mighty bravely, indeed!

DEMEA: He could not have done better; like me, he saw that you were at the bottom of all this business. But is my brother at home?

SYRUS: No, he isn't.

DEMEA: I wonder where I can find him.

SYRUS: I know where he is, but I'll never tell you the place today.

DEMEA: Eh, what's that you say?

SYRUS: Just that.

DEMEA: You will have your head broken in a minute.

SYRUS: Well, I don't know the man's name, but I know where the place is.

DEMEA: Then tell me where the place is.

SYRUS: Do you know that colonnade at the butcher's shop down the street?

DEMEA: Of course I do.

SYRUS: When you've passed that, go straight up the street; when you've come there, there's a hill leading downwards; down that you go, and then there is a chapel on this side [pointing]; close by that there is a lane.

DEMEA: [Looking] Where?

SYRUS: [Pointing] There, where the great wild fig tree stands.

DEMEA: I know.

SYRUS: Go that way.

DEMEA: But that lane is no thoroughfare.

SYRUS: True, by Jove! Why, what a fool I must be! I have made a mistake. You must come back to the colonnade again; indeed, this is a much shorter way, and less chance of your missing it. Do you know that house there, that belongs to the rich Cratinus?

DEMEA: Yes, I know it.

SYRUS: When you have passed it, turn to the left, go straight on that way till you come to Diana's temple, then to the right. Before you come to the city gate, just by the pond, there's a pounding-rnill, and opposite a carpenter's shop; that's where he is.

DEMEA: What is he doing there?

SYRUS: He has ordered some benches to be made with oak legs, to stand the sun.

DEMEA: [Sneering] For you to lie upon and drink. Very well; I had better be off to him. [Demea departs]

SYRUS: Off with you, in heaven's name! I'll work you today as you deserve, you old fossil! [Reflecting] It's very wrong of Aeschinus not to come; our dinner is being spoiled. Ctesipho is thinking of nothing but his love; I must look out for myself. I'll go in and pick out the choicest morsel of all for myself, and then I'll linger over my wine for the rest of the day. [He goes into the house]

SCENE III.

[Enter Micio and Hegio, conversing]

MICIO: Hegio, I don't see anything in this for which I deserve such high praise. I am only doing my duty; I am repairing the fault which we have committed; unless you used to reckon me among those who think that you are doing them an injury and abuse you if you complain of the wrong they have done you. Do you thank me because I don't act thus?

HEGIO: Oh, not at all; I never thought of you otherwise than as you are. But, Micio, I pray you, come with me to the girl's mother, and tell her yourself what you have told me, that all this suspicion arose on account of Aeschinus' brother and his music girl.

MICIO: Well, if you think it right, or that it needs doing, let us go.

HEGIO: You are right, for you will cheer up the woman, who is wasting away with sorrow and wretchedness, and you will have done your duty. Still, if you don't wish to, I myself will tell her what you said.

MICIO: No, I'll go.

HEGIO: You are right. Somehow all those who are unsuccessful in life are prone to suspicion; they take everything as an insult, and believe that they are being slighted because they are helpless; so you are more likely to win their pardon if you defend yourself in person before them.

MICIO: What you say is true and proper.

HEGIO: Then come this way after me into the house.

MICIO: With all my heart. [They go into Sostrata's house]

SCENE IV.

[Enter Aeschinus, much troubled]

AESCHINUS: [To himself ] I am in terrible distress; so much trouble has come upon me all of a sudden that I don't know what to do with myself or how to act. My limbs quake with fear; my mind is stupefied with dread; my heart can form no plan. Heavens! How can I get myself out of this mess? I have become gravely suspected, and on very good grounds. Sostrata believes that I have bought this music girl for myself. The old woman told me this; she was going to fetch a midwife when I saw her. I straightway went to her and asked her how Pamphila was, whether her confinement was at hand and that was why she was fetching the midwife. She cried out, "Be off with you, Aeschinus; you have fooled us long enough; you have deceived us long enough with your fine professions." "Eh," says I, "pray what is all this?" "Good-bye," says she, "keep the girl you like best." I saw straightway what the women suspected, but still I restrained myself, for fear of telling that old chatterbox anything about my brother, and letting out the whole story. Now, what am I to do? Shall I tell them that the girl is my brother's mistress? That secret must not be breathed to anyone. And never mind that, for I think the secret may be kept; but I fear they would not believe the truth; so many circumstances point to the other as the real story. I myself carried off the girl; I paid the money for her; she was brought home to my house. I admit that I was wrong in that matter, not to have told my father the whole story of my love, and wrung permission from him to marry her. Hitherto I have been idling; now then, Aeschinus, my man, wake up. Now first of all, I will go the women and clear my character. Let me go -up to the door. Oh, dear! I am always in a fright when I begin to knock at this door. [Knocking] Ha, there! It is Aeschinus. Open the door quick, somebody. Here is somebody coming out; I will stand aside here.

SCENE V.

[Enter Micio from Sostrata's house]

MICIO: [To Sostrata within] Do as I tell you, Sostrata; I will see Aeschinus, that he may know what has been done. But who is that who knocked?

AESCHINUS: [Aside] Heavens, it's my father! Confusion!

MICIO: Aeschinus!

AESCHINUS: [Aside] What is he doing here?

MICIO: Was it you who knocked at this door? [Aside] He doesn't answer. Why shouldn't I play with him for a while? It's right, seeing that he never chose to tell me anything about this. [Aloud] Do you give me no answer?

AESCHINUS: It wasn't that door, as far as I know.

MICIO: Indeed! I was wondering what business you could have here. [Aside] He blushes; all is well.

AESCHINUS: Tell me, pray, father, what business you have there.

MICIO: I have none. A friend just now brought me away from the market place as a witness.

AESCHINUS: What for?

MICIO: I'll tell you. Some poverty-stricken women live here; I don't suppose that you know them, indeed, I am quite sure you don't, for they have only lately moved into this house.

AESCHINUS: Well, what then?

MICIO: There is a young girl and her mother.

AESCHINUS: Yes, go on.

MICIO: The young girl has lost her father. This friend of mine is her next of kin, and is compelled by the law to marry her.

AESCHINUS: [Aside] The devil!

MICIO: [Overhearing] What's the matter?

AESCHINUS: Oh, nothing. I am all right. Go on.

MICIO: He is come to take her away with him, for he lives at Miletus.

AESCHINUS: What? To take the girl away with him?

MICIO: Yes.

AESCHINUS: What? All the way to Miletus?

MICIO: Just so.

AESCHINUS: [Aside] I feel as if I should faint. [To Micio] And what of the women? What do they say?

MICIO: What do you suppose they would say? Nothing at all. The mother did. indeed, make up a story that the girl had had a child by somebody else, some man or other, she didn't tell his name, and said that he came first, and that the girl ought not to marry my friend.

AESCHINUS: Well, don't you think that she was right to ask this?

MICIO: No.

AESCHINUS: What? "No?"' And, father, is this man going to take her away?

MICIO: Why shouldn't he take her away?

AESCHINUS: Father, you have acted harshly and pitilessly, and even, to be plain, ungentlemanly.

MICIO: Why?

AESCHINUS: Do you ask me why? What do you suppose must be the feelings of that poor fellow, her former lover, who, unhappy man, perhaps is still desperately fond of her, when he has to stand by and see her carried off before his face and taken out of his sight? Father, it is a shameful thing to do.

MICIO: On what grounds do you say that? Who betrothed her to him? Who gave her to him? When was she married? Whom did she marry? Who gave his consent to these proceedings? Why did the man marry a girl who belonged to another?

AESCHINUS: Why, was such a great girl to sit at home waiting till her relative came to Athens from all that way off? That was what you should have urged, father, and pleaded.

MICIO: Absurd! Was I to plead against the interest of the man whom I had come to help as a witness? But what have we to do with this, Aeschinus, or what are these women to us? Let us be going. [As Aeschinus breaks down and weeps] What's the matter? Why are you in tears?

AESCHINUS: I beseech you, father, listen to me.

MICIO: I have heard all, Aeschinus, and I know all; I love you, and so I take all the more interest in your doings.

AESCHINUS: As I hope, father, that I shall deserve your love as long as I live, so I declare that I am deeply grieved at having committed this fault, and I am ashamed of myself in your sight.

MICIO: I verily believe you, for I know your honorable character; but I fear you are too remiss in this matter. In what city do you suppose that you are living? Here you have seduced a young lady whom you had no right to touch. This was your first first sin, and a great one; a great sin, but after all, human nature. Many good men have done the same. But after that, pray did you ever think the matter over, or look forward on your own account to what would have to be done? If you were ashamed to tell 1 me this story yourself, how was I to learn it? While XXX I you were hesitating, ten months have slipped away. I You have, as far as in you lay, betrayed yourself and this poor girl and the child. What! Did you suppose that the gods would manage this business - I for you while you lay asleep, and that she would be brought home to you and installed in your bedroom without your taking any trouble about it? I hope you won't manage other business so negligently. Now be of good cheer, she shall be your wife.

AESCHINUS: What?

MICIO: Be of good cheer, I say.

AESCHINUS: Father, I beseech you, are you mocking me?

MICIO: Mocking you? Why should I?

AESCHINUS: I don't know. but I am so terribly anxious that this should be true, that I am all the more inclined to doubt it.

MICIO: Go home, and pray to the gods that you may bring home your bride; off with you!

AESCHINUS: What? My bride already?

MICIO: Already.

AESCHINUS: What? Now?

MICIO: As soon as may be.

AESCHINUS: Father, may all the gods abhor me if I don't love you better than my own eyes.

MICIO: What? Better than her?

AESCHINUS: Just as much.

MICIO: [Smiling] That's very kind of you.

AESCHINUS: I say, where's that man from Miletus?

MICIO: He's gone; he's gone on board ship. But why do you linger here?

AESCHINUS: Father, you go and pray to the gods, rather than I, for I am quite sure that they will be more likely to hear your prayers, as you are a far better man than I.

MICIO: I'll go into the house to make what preparations are necessary; you, if you are wise, do as I have said. [Micio goes inside]

AESCHINUS: [To himself] What's this? Is this to be a father or to be a son? What more could he do for me if he were my brother or my bosom friend? Is he not a man to be loved? To be carried next one's heart? His kindness, however, has made me very anxious, for fear that through carelessness I may do something that will displease him. I must be on my guard. But why don't I go into the house, that I may not myself delay my own marriage? [Aeschinus goes inside]

SCENE VI

[Enter Demea wearily]

DEMEA: [To himself] I have walked till I'm dead tired. Syrus, may great Jove confound you with your directions. I have crawled about all over the town-to the gate, to the pond; where haven't I been? There was no carpenter's shop there, and not a soul said he had seen my brother. Now I've made up my mind to wait for him in his house till he returns.

SCENE VII.

[Enter Micio from his house]

MICIO; [To Aeschinus within] 1'll go and tell them that there shall be no delay on our part.

DEMEA: Why, there's the man himself. I have long been seeking you, Micio.

MICIO: What for?

DEMEA: I bring you news of more outrageous wickedness done by that nice young man.

MICIO: More, eh?

DEMEA: Hanging matters.

MICIO: Oh, nonsense.

DEMEA: You don't know what sort of a man he is.

MICIO: Yes, I do.

DEMEA: Fool, you are mooning, thinking that I mean the affair of the music girl; but this is a rape committed on a young lady, a citizen of Athens.

MICIO: Yes, I know.

DEMEA: What? You know of it and you endure it?

MICIO: Why shouldn't I endure it?

DEMEA: Tell me, don't you cry out at it? Doesn't it drive you mad?

MICIO: No, it does not. I might have preferred

DEMEA: There is a baby boy born.

MICIO: Heaven bless him!

DEMEA: The girl hasn 't a penny.

MICIO: So I have heard.

DEMEA: And she is to be married without a dowry.

MICIO: Of course.

DEMEA: What's to be done now?

MICIO: What the occasion requires; the girl must be brought over from that house to this.

DEMEA: O Jupiter! . Is that the way that you ought to take it?

MICIO: What more can I do?

DEMEA: What can you do? Why, if you are not really put out at this, at any rate it would be your duty to pretend that you are.

MICIO: Why, I have betrothed the girl to him; the whole affair is settled; the wedding is just going to take place. I have set them free from all fear; this was much more my duty.

DEMEA: But, Micio, do you approve of what he has done?

MICIO: No, not if I could alter it; but since I can't, I make the best of it. The life of man is like playing with dice: if you don't throw exactly what you want, you must use your wits to make shift with what you have thrown.

DEMEA: Make shift, indeed! By this use of your wits you have lost twenty minae for that music girl, whom you must now dispose of for nothing, if you can 't sell her .

MICIO: I shall not; nor do I want to sell her.

DEMEA: Then what will you do with her?

MICIO: She will live with us.

DEMEA: Heavens and earth! A mistress and a wife in the same household?

MICIO: Why not?

DEMEA: Do you think you're in your right mind?

MICIO: I believe so.

DEMEA: So help me heaven, when I consider what a fool you are, I believe that you mean to keep her to give you music lessons!

MICIO: Why shouldn't she?

DEMEA: And will she give the bride music lessons too?

MICIO: Of course she will.

DEMEA: And you will dance "the ladies' chain" between them, I suppose?

MICIO: Very well.
DEMEA: Very well?

MICIO: Yes; and you shall join us, if need be.

DEMEA: Damn it! Aren't you ashamed of this?

MICIO: Now, Demea, just put away this ill temper of yours, and be merry and good-humored, as you ought to be, on your son 's wedding-day. I'll go and see the ladies, and then I'II come back here again. [Micio goes into Sostrata's house]

DEMEA: [To himself] Oh, Jupiter, what a life! What morals! What folly! A bride without a dowry is to be brought home; there's a music girl in the house; an extravagant establishment; a youth given over to debauchery, an old dotard. Why, the goddess of Salvation could not save this household, even if she wanted to.

ACT V. SCENE I.

[Enter Syrus from the house]

SYRUS: [Drunk, talking to himself] Faith, Syry, my boy, you've done finely for yourself and managed your part of the business sumptuously. Well, now that I've had a bellyful of all sorts of good things indoors, I've taken a fancy to a stroll out in front of the house here.

DEMEA: See, there's an instance of the way the household is kept in order.

SYRUS: Why, here's our old gentleman. How goes it? What are you so gloomy about?

DEMEA: Oh, you scoundrel!

SYRUS: Shut up! No one of your jaw here, old wiseacre!

DEMEA: If you were my slave

SYRUS: You'd have been a rich man, Demea, and have made your fortune.

DEMEA: I'd see that you were made a warning to all men.

SYRUS: What for? What harm have I done?

DEMEA: Do you ask me? Why, just at the very crisis, and after the worst of wrongdoing, you get drunk, you scoundrel, before things have even been quieted down, just as if you had done some good action.

SYRUS: [Aside] Oh, hell! I wish I'd stayed indoors.

SCENE II.

[Dromo appears in the doorway]

DROMO: Here, Syrus, Ctesipho wants you to come back.

SYRUS: Get along with you! [Dromo disappears]

DEMEA: Ctesipho here! What's that he says?

SYRUS: Nothing.

DEMEA: Is Ctesipho here, scoundrel?

SYRUS: No.

DEMEA: Then why did he mention his name?

SYRUS: It's another man, a little parasite chap. Don't you know him ?

DEMEA: I will directly. [He approaches the door]

SYRUS: What are you doing? Where are you going to? [Catching hold of Demea]

DEMEA: Let me go! [Threatens him]

SYRUS: I say, don't.

DEMEA: Will you take your hands off me, you villain, or do you prefer to have your brains knocked out here? [Demea dashes into the house ]

SYRUS: He's gone. A damned unwelcome addition to their wine party, especially to Ctesipho. What am I to do now? Better get out of the way somewhere into a corner, and sleep off this drop of wine, until all these rows quiet down; that's what I'll do. [Syrus goes inside unsteadily]

SCENE III

[Enter Micio from Sostrata's house]

MICIO: [To Sostrata within] We have everything ready, as I told you, Sostrata; so when you like…Why, who is that knocking so loud at my door? [Re-enter Demea from Micio's house]

DEMEA: [To himself] Oh, dear me! What shall I do? What's to be done? How can I cry aloud and lament enough? O heavens, earth, and seas!

MICIO: [Aside] There you are! He has found out the whole story; you may be sure that that's what he's crying out about. There'll be a row. I must try to help.

DEMEA: See, there he is, the debaucher of both our sons!

MICIO: Pray restrain your passion and calm yourself.

DEMEA: I have restrained it. I am calm. l don't say another word of abuse. Let us look at the facts.
Was it not arranged between us (you started the arrangement) that you were not to meddle with my son, and I was not to meddle with yours? Answer me.

MICIO: It was, I don't deny it.

DEMEA: Then why is he now drinking in your house? Why do you harbor my boy, Micio? Why do you buy a mistress for him? Isn't it fair that I should have as much rights over my son as you have over yours? Since I don't look after your son, don't you look after mine.

MICIO: What you say is not fair; no, it isn't; for it is an old proverb that friends have all things in common.

DEMEA: How clever! But this suggestion is a little late, isn't it?

MICIO: lf you don't mind, Demea, listen while I say a few words. First of all, if you are vexed at the extravagance of your sons, pray bear these facts in mind. you, in the beginning, were going to bring up both your sons as your means permitted, because you supposed that your fortune would be enough for both of them, and of course you thought at that time that I should marry. Well, you keep on in that same old style now: pinch, scrape, and be stingy. Take care to leave them as large a fortune as ever you can, and glory in doing so. But let them use my fortune, which is available for them contrary to their expectations. y our property will not suffer thereby. What you get from me you may count as clear gain. If you would think these things over impartially , Demea, you would save both me and yourself and the boys much unpleasantness.

DEMEA: I pass over the expense; but their morals

MICIO: Stay. I know; I was coming to that. There are many signs in people's characters whereby you may easily guess, when two of them are doing the same thing, how it will affect them, so that you can often say: "It will do this one no harm, it will do that one harm». not because the thing that they are doing is different, but because their characters are different. Now by what I see of them, I am confident that they will turn out as we wish. I see that they are sensible, intelligent, high-minded, and fond of one another. y ou can see that they are gentlemen in thought and disposition; you can pull them in any day you please. Perhaps you are afraid that they are rather neglectful of business. Oh, my dear Demea, as we grow older we grow wiser about everything else, but the one vice which age brings to us, is that of being keener after money-making than we ought to be. Time will make them sharp enough at that.

DEMEA: Always provided, Micio, that your spe cious reasoning and easy good nature does not do them too much harm.

MICIO: Hush, I shall not do that. Now let us say no more about this business; be my guest today and clear your brow.

DEMEA: Well, it seems to be the fashion; I must do so; but at break of day I am off to the country with my son.

MICIO: Oh, tonight, for all I care; only do be cheerful today.

DEMEA: And I'll take that music girl away with me.

MICIO: Then you will have won your battle. By so doing you will quite gain your son's heart; only mind you keep her.

DEMEA: I will see to that: at the farm I'll make her cook and grind corn till she's all over ashes and smoke and flour; besides, I'll make her go gleaning under the noonday sun; I'll burn her as black as a coal.

MICIO: Right; now you seem to me to be showing good sense; and there I'd make him sleep with her, even if he doesn't want to.

DEMEA: Are you laughing at me? Well, you are lucky to be able to take it so. I feel

MICIO: Now, no more of that.

DEMEA: Well, I'm just leaving off.

MICIO: Then come into the house, and let us spend this day as we ought. [They go into Micio's house. A short time is supposed to elapse before the next scene ]

SCENE IV.

[Enter Demea from Micio's house ]

DEMEA: [To himself] No man ever lived in so well-regulated a fashion but what circumstances, years, and experience must continually present something new to him, and suggest something to him; so that you don't know what you once thought you knew, and cast away what you once supposed to be of the first importance. That is what's happened to me, for now, when my time is almost spent, I renounce the severe life that I have hitherto lived. Why do I do that? Because I have been taught by circumstances that nothing suits a man better than easygoing good nature. Anybody could tell this easily by comparing me and my brother. He has always spent his life at leisure, and in entertainments, in good humor, with unruffled temper, giving no man a harsh word, with a smile for everyone: he has lived to please himself, and has spent money on himself alone; well, all men speak well of him and love him. I, the countryrnan, rude, harsh, stingy, ill-tempered and self-willed-I married, and what wretchedness I went through. Sons were born: more trouble; and then, why, dear me! in trying to do the best I can for them, I have wasted all my life and manhood. Now, at the end of my days, what is my reward at their hands? Dislike; while that brother of mine has all a fathers pleasures without the trouble. They are fond of him, and they run away from me. They tell him all their secrets, they love him, they are both at his house, and 1 am left alone.
They hope that he will live, while of course they look forward to my death. Thus, for a small outlay, he has made them into his own sons, after I had brought them up with enormous trouble. I get all the pain, and he enjoys all the pleasure. Come, come now, let us try the other tack; let me see whether I can speak gently or behave kindly, since my brother challenges me to do so. I also demand to be loved and thought much of by my people; if that can be got by giving them presents and humoring their whim, I will not be behindhand. There will be a deficit in my exchequer, but that won 't matter to me, seeing that I am the elder brother.

SCENE V.

[Enter Syrus from Micio's house]

SYRUS: Demea, your brother begs you to keep near the house.

DEMEA: Who's there? Oh, my good Syrus! How goes it? How's all with you?

SYRUS: Very well.

DEMEA: [Aside] I'm getting on capitally. There, for the first time in my life I have forced myself, against my true character, to add these three sayings, "My good," "how goes it?" and "how's all with you?"' [Aloud] You are not a badly behaved slave, and I should be glad to do you some service.
SYRUS: Much obliged.

DEMEA: Indeed, Syrus, this is true, and facts will prove it to you before long.

SCENE VI.

[Enter Geta from Sostrata's house ]

GETA: [To Sostrata within] I'm going across to our neighbors', ma'am, to see when they will be ready to fetch the young lady. [Looking round] Why, there is Demea! Good day, sir.

DEMEA: Oh, what's your name?

GETA: Geta.

DEMEA: Geta, I have today made up my mind that you are an invaluable fellow, for I think that the worth of a slave is thoroughly proved when he is zealous for his owner, as I have noticed you are, Geta, and for that 1 shall be pleased to be of service to you whenever 1 have an opportunity. [Aside] I am studying how to be amiable, and really making progress.

GETA: You are very good to think so.

DEMEA: [Aside] I am beginning with the mob and gradually winning their affections.

SCENE VII.

[Enter Aeschinus from Micio's house ]

AESCHINUS: [To himself] They plague me to death, wanting to make such an ultra-solemn wedding of it;
they are wasting the whole day with their preparations.

DEMEA: How goes it, Aeschinus?

AESCHINUS: Why, father, are you here?

DEMEA: Yes, your father both in will and in deed, who loves you more than his own eyes. Why don't you bring home your bride?

AESCHINUS: I want to, but I am waiting for flute-players and people to sing the wedding hymn.

DEMEA: Now, will you take the advice of an old man like me?

AESCHINUS: What do you advise?

DEMEA: Get rid of the wedding procession, hymns, torches. flute-players and all, and order this party wall in the garden to be pulled down as soon as may be. Bring your bride through that way; throw the two houses into one. Bring her mother and all her household over to us.

AESCHINUS: W ell said, my most charming father.

DEMEA: [Aside] Capital! I'm called charming already. My brother's house will become a thoroughfare; he will take a host of people into it, he will spend much money in entertaining them, there will be lots of expenses-well! what do I care? I am charming, and making myself popular. [To Aeschinus] Here, order old Croesus to pay you twenty minae straightway. Syrus, why don't you go and do what you are ordered?

SYRUS: What am I to do?

DEMEA: Pull down the wall. [To Geta, as Syrus goes inside] You go and bring the ladies through the garden.

GETA: May the gods bless you, Demea, for I see that you are a true well-wisher to our family.

DEMEA: I think that they deserve it. [To Aeschinus, as Geta goes into Sostrata's house] What do you say?

AESCHINUS: I quite agree.

DEMEA: It is much more proper than that she should be brought here along the public road, being ill and weak after childbirth.

AESCHINUS: Father, I never saw anything better arranged.

DEMEA: That's the way I always do arrange things; but see, here's Micio coming out of his house.

SCENE VIII.

[Enter Micio, somewhat upset]

MICIO: [To the men within who are pulling down the wall] My brother's orders, d'ye say? Where is my brother? [Seeing him] Are these your orders, Demea ?

DEMEA: My orders are both in this and all other matters to make one household of it as far as may be, to cherish, help, and unite them.

AESCHINUS: Do so, father, I pray you.

MICIO: I think that we ought.

DEMEA: Nay, it's our duty so to do. In the first place, this bride has a mother.

MICIO: She has; what then?

DEMEA: An honest and discreet lady.

MICIO: So they say.

DEMEA: She's a trifle elderly.

MICIO: I know that she is.

DEMEA: She has long been too old to bear children, and she has no one to take care of her, a lone woman.

MICIO: [Aside] What is he driving at?

DEMEA: [To Micio] It is your duty to marry her, and [to Aeschinus] yours to see that he does so.

XXX MICIO: Me marry. I DEMEA: yes, you.
MICIO: Me?

DEMEA: Yes, you, I say.

MICIO: Nonsense.

DEMEA: [To Aeschinus] lf you're a man, he'll do it.

AESCHINUS: Father, dear.

MICIO: What, you young donkey, are you giving ear to his proposals?

DEMEA: It is no use, you cannot help doing it.

MICIO: You're out of your mind.

AESCHINUS: Let me win your consent, father.

MICIO: You're mad; be off with you.

DEMEA: Come, do your son this favor.

MICIO: Are you in your right senses? Am I, in my sixty-fifth year, to become a bridegroom for the first time, and marry a decrepit old woman? Is that what you seriously propose that I should do?

AESCHINUS: Do it, father; I have promised them that you will.

MICIO: Promised, have you! Promise what is your own to give, my boy.

DEMEA: Come! Suppose he were to ask some greater favor of you.

MICIO: As if this wasn't the greatest of all!

DEMEA: Grant it.

AESCHINUS: Don't be cross.

DEMEA: Do it; promise you will do it.

MICIO: Leave me alone, can't you?

DEMEA: l won't, till you give your consent.

MICIO: This is assault and battery.

DEMEA: Behave generously, Micio.

MICIO: Although this marriage seems to me to be a mistaken, absurd, foolish proceeding, yet if you are so eager for it, let it take place.

AESCHINUS: You are right.

DEMEA: You deserve my affection; but…
MICIO: But what?

DEMEA: Now that I have got my wish, I will tell you.

MICIO: What next? What more am I to do?

DEMEA: The next of kin to these ladies, who is now a connection of ours, is Hegio, a poor man; it is our duty to do something for him.

MICIO: What are we to do?

DEMEA: There is a small piece of land here just outside the city, which you let out on hire. Let us give him the use of it.

MICIO: A small piece, d'ye call it?

DEMEA: If it were a big one, still you ought to do it; he has been like a father to her, he is a good man, and one of ourselves now; it is right to give it to him. Besides, I am now myself putting into practice the maxim which you, Micio, enunciated so wisely and so well a short time ago: "A vice common to all mankind is that of being too keen after money when we are old." It is our duty to put away this reproach from us; your maxim is a true one, and should be acted upon.

AESCHINUS: Dear father.

MICIO: Well, well, he shall have it, since Aeschinus so wishes it.

AESCHINUS: I am delighted.

DEMEA: Now you are truly my brother alike in body and in soul. [Aside] I am cutting his throat with his own sword.

SCENE IX.

[Enter Syrus]

SYRUS: I have done what you ordered, Demea.

DEMEA: You're an honest fellow, and now my opinion is that this day Syrus ought to be made a free man.

MICIO: Him a free man? Why, what for?

DEMEA: For many things.

SYRUS: Oh, dear Demea, you are indeed a good man. I have watched over both your sons for you ever since they were boys with the greatest care; I have taught them and admonished them, and always given them the best advice that I could.

DEMEA: The facts prove that you did; moreover, you can be trusted to buy fish for dinner, you can bring a courtesan into the house, and you can prepare a feast in the middle of the day. It requires no ordinary man to do this.

SYRUS: What a pleasant old gentleman!

DEMEA: Moreover, he helped today to buy the music girl. He managed the business, and he ought to be repaid for his trouble. The other slaves will be all the better for the example; besides, Aeschinus wishes it.

MICIO: [To Aeschinus] Do you wish it?

AESCHINUS: I do.

MICIO: Well, if you wish it: [To Syrus] Syrus, come here to me. [Strikes him with a stick] Be a free man.

SYRUS: 'Tis generously done: I return my thanks to you all; and to you in particular, Demea.

DEMEA: I rejoice at it.

AESCHINUS: And I too.

SYRUS: I believe it. I wish this my joy were complete, and that I might see my wife Phrygia free too.

DEMEA: An excellent woman, truly!

SYRUS: And the first that suckled my young master's son, your grandson today.

DEMEA: Indeed? Why, if she really was the first that suckled him, without any question she ought to be made free.

MICIO: What, for that?

DEMEA: For that: in fine, you shall have the price of her freedom from me.

SYRUS: May the gods ever grant you all your desires, Demea!

MICIO: Syrus, you've done nicely for yourself today.

DEMEA: Moreover, brother, if you'll do your duty, and let him have a little ready money to begin with, he'll soon repay it.

MICIO: Not this much. [Snapping his fingers]

AESCHINUS: He's an industrious honest fellow.

SYRUS: I'll return it, indeed; only let me have it.

AESCHINUS: Do, father.

MICIO: I'll consider it.

DEMEA: He'll do it.

SYRUS: O excellent man!

AESCHINUS: O delightful father!

MICIO: What means all this, brother? Whence this sudden change in your temper? What is this whim?
What a hasty fit of prodigality!

DEMEA: 1'll tell you, in order to make you realize that your passing for an easy agreeable man is not genuine, or founded on equity and good sense, but is due to your overlooking things, your indulgence, and giving them whatever they want. Now, Aeschinus, if I am, therefore, odious to you, because I don't wholly humor you in everything right or wrong, I'll concern myself with you no farther; squander , buy, do whatever you have a mind to. But if you had rather that 1 check and restrain you in pursuits, which, by reason of your youth, you are not aware of the consequences of, when passion misleads you or prompts you too far, and that I direct you, as occasion offers: behold me ready to do you that service.

AESCHINUS: Father, we submit to you entirely. You best know what is fit and proper. But how will you do with my brother?

DEMEA: I consent that he may have his girl, provided his follies end there.

AESCHINUS: That's well. [To the spectators] Give us your applause.